If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
