you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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