I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
