Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
