It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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