Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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