we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
