He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
