There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
