i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
