was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
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we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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