Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
