i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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