I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i think im in europe. pls send help
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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