Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
