me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Couch. On fire.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize