At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
