I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
