Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
