I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
