:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
