He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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