That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
