nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
