Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize