there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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