ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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