Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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