PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
