I just cut my nipple shaving
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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