she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
