Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
