I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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