So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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