Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
