Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
