I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
