How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
