if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
