Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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