Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
