can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
