Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
