I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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