there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
