remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
