i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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