In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
