you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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