Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
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he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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