i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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