she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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