Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
COCAINE IS GR8
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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