The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
