C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
