he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
