when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize