If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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