My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize