So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
