at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
